Anne Discovers GG Voice Character Generator!

[Birgitte Jorgensen <bj@kemmunet.net.mt>]

Nous Marble D'Anne wrote:

> There was an older thread in F-Minor where someone translated some of GG's
> writing into different languages and then back again using a free
> translation program -- possibly "le poisson de Babel." The results were...
> wacky! :->
>
> Aha! I found it. Of course, the "culprit" was Bradley. :-> Here's the link,
> have fun:
> http://www.tug.org/mail-archives/f_minor/msg03300.html
>
> As an example, "... what you end up with is mud, glorious mud" ends up
> being transformed into "...which above you is mud, splendourful mud."

That is simply splendourful. I assume most of you have better things to do on a Sunday morning, so here is the fruit
of my half hour of toil: a sample of Glenn Gould's philosophy given the full UV (Universal Translator) treatment.
Sorry, no Klingon, but Maltese, which is derived from Phoenician and speed-blended with Arabic, Italian and English,
sounds uncannily like Worf's native tongue. Perhaps I can convince a local speaker to translate this passage for me.
(Other possibly irrelevant trivia in the hitherto unknown Maltese-ST connection: Malta's equivalent of Jones or
Smith is "Borg"... although I have yet to be assimilated.)

The following excerpts are also of significance to the current Napster thread.

PURE, UNADULTERATED GG:
If these changes are profound enough, we may eventually be compelled to redefine the terminology with which we
express our thoughts about art. Indeed, it may become increasingly inappropriate to apply to a description of
environmental situations the word ?art? itself - a word that, however venerable and honoured, is necessarily replete
with imprecise, if not in fact obsolete, connotations.

In the best of all possible worlds, art would be unnecessary. Its offer of restorative, placative therapy would go
begging a patient. The professional specialization involved in its making would be presumption. The generalities of
its applicability would be an affront. The audience would be the artist and life would be art.

You see, the Western world is consumed with notions of qualification; the threat of nuclear extinction fulfills
those notions, and the loss of a dragonfly?s wing does not. And until the two phenomena are recognized as one,
indivisible, until physical and verbal aggression are seen as simply the flip of the competitive coin, until every
aesthetic decision can be equated with a moral correlative, I?ll continue to listen to the Berlin Philharmonic from
behind a glass partition.

ENGLISH TO GERMAN TO ENGLISH
If these modifications enough are per find, we can be finally forced to talk-fine the terminology, with which we
express our thoughts over art. Indeed it cannot be attached increasingly to even apply at a description of climatic
situations the word ' art ' - a word, which, however venerable and honoured, necessarily with inaccurate are
full-plugged, if not actually overhauled, Konnotationen.

In best all possible worlds, art would be not necessary. Its supply of the restorations and placative therapy would
go to ask a patient. The professional specialization, which was included in its forming with, would be assumption.
The general ones of its applicability would be an offense. The public the artist would be and the life became its
art.

You see, the western world is used up with terms of the qualification; the threat of the core deletion does not
fulfill those terms, and the loss of the wing of a spirit level. And to the two phenomena are detected as one,
indivisibly, until physical and verbal attack become seen as simply the light impact of the competitive coin, until
each aesthetic decision a moral korrelat can be on an equal footing, I continues, hearing after Berlin Philharmonic
from the rear a glass partition.

ENGLISH TO FRENCH AND BACK TO SOMETHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING ENGLISH
If these changes are rather deep, we can be constrained thereafter with the redefine for the terminology with which
we express our opinions about art. Indeed, it can become increasingly inadequate to apply to a description of the
environmental situations the word ' art ' itself - that a word which, however venerable and honoured, is necessarily
filled of vague, if not démodent in fact, connotations.

In the best of all the possible worlds, art would be useless. Its offer of strengthening and placative therapy would
request a patient. The professional specialization implied in its manufacture would be presumption. The general
information of its applicability would be an affront. The assistances would be the artist and the life would be
Article.

You see, the Western world is consumed with concepts of qualification; the threat of the nuclear extinction achieves
these concepts, and the loss of the wing of a dragonfly not. And until the two phenomena is recognized as a one,
indivisible, until phyisical and the verbal aggression is seen like simply flick of the competing coin, until each
aesthetic decision can be equalized with a moral correlative, I will continue to listen to Berlin Philharmonic by
behind a partition of glass.

ENGLISH TO ITALIAN AND BACK TO SOMETHING NOT EVEN REMOTELY RESEMBLING THE LANGUAGE OF BARBARIANS
If these changes are enough deep, we can finally be forced to the redefine the terminology with which we express our
thoughts approximately the art. Effectively, the 'art' in if it can become more and more inadequate to apply to a
description of the environmental situations the word ' - ' than a word that, however venerable and honoured, is
necessarily full with impreciso, sennò in effects disuses, connotations.

In the thing better than all the possible worlds, the art would be useless. The relative offer of the ristoratrice
therapy and placative would go to elemosinare a patient. The professional specialization in issue in the relative
one to make would be presunzione. The name and address of the relative applicabilità would be a affront. The publics
would be the artist and the life would be the art.

See, the western world is consumed with the slight knowledge of the qualification; the extinction threat nuclear
completes those slight knowledge and the loss of the wing of the dragonfly not. And until the two phenomena it is
recognized like one, indivisible one, until phyisical and the oral aggression is seen simply like the vibration of
the competitive currency, until that every aesthetic decision cannot be identified, until to every aesthetic
decision I can be identified with correlative a moral one, I will continue to listen to Berlin Philharmonic behind a
dividing one of glass.

> I think that shows why those translation programs are of limited use. They
> do not work well on complicated sentences, particularly when the writer
> uses idiom, subtle nuances, and pop culture references. Glenn Gould's
> writings do all that, of course, and more.

Oh contraire! I found that reading the translations came as a welcome shock to my liguistic complacency. It shook
loose all that splendourfully solidified mud that passes for my brain.

> When all else fails, you can use The Dialectizer
> (http://rinkworks.com/dialect/) to translate GG's writing into Swedish Chef
> dialect. "Vhet yuoo ind up veet is mood, glureeuoos mood. Bork bork bork!"

Many thanks, Anne, for that bit of fun. That invention could have started an inter-stellar war in ST, but under the
humourless rules of The Federation they'd probably never be permitted to use such a clever device. However, I'm sure
Gould, so fond of going into politically-incorrect ethnic character accents, would appreciate it. I believe the
Swedish Chef dialect could pass for his Karl-Heinz Kloppweiser character. In fact, the English to Italian to English
version of his words above sounded suspiciously like a well-behaved Teddy Slutz to me, so I ran it through The
Dialectizer. This is a combination of the Redneck, Jive, and Moron settings (astonishing how much it also sounds
like George W. on a good day):

Eff'n these changes is profoun' inough, we may eventually be compelled t'redfeine da damn terminology wid which we
express our thunks about art. Man! Indeed, it may become increasin'ly inappropriate t'apply t'a descripshun uh
environmental situashuns tu de wo'd ?art? itself - some wo'd dat, uh, duh, howebeh benehaggle 'n honoured, uh uh uh
uh, is necessary reblete wid iprecise, uh uh uh, if not in fack obsolete, uh, connotashuns.

In de best of all posstiggle worlds, duuhhhh, art wudd be unnecess. Its offa' of resto'ative, placative derapy would
go beggin' some patient. Man! De professional specializashun involved in its makin' would be presumpshun. De
juneralities of its applicability'd be an affront. Man! De audience would be da damn artist and life wudd be art.
Man!

Yo' see, th' Western wo'ld is cornsoomd wif noshuns o' qualificashun; da damn threat of nucular extinckshun fu'fills
them noshuns, an' th' lost of a dragonfly?s wigg does not. An' until them two phenomena is reckanized as one,
indivisible, uh... until the, duh uhh, two phenomena are recognizid as one, uh uh uh, indibistiggle, until phyisical
'n behbal aggresshun are seen as, uh uh uh, da flip of the, errr, c'petitibe coin, until every aesdetic decision kin
be equated wid some mo'al correlatibe, I?ll continue t'listen t'de Berlin Philharmonic fum behind some glass
partishun.


I'm not making this up.

-La Jørgensen de Birgitte